"No Matter What I do, Nothing Works!"

If you have reached out to me directly, chances are you've said this or something like it. I understand your frustration fully - I've been there myself. However, it is a rather interesting question to examine, because it gets to the root of the issue.

The issue being - your unconscious mind actually CREATES the pain. Why? Because you believe that there is something wrong with you. What a horrible feeling to have! So you unconsciously create physical culprits to which you can point and say, "A-HA! That is what is wrong with me! I knew it was something beyond my control!"

The disease allows you freedom from the constant "trying to fix yourself" or "trying to better yourself" mentality which causes one to go to the EXTREMES of self-hating thought patterns. Since you have a disease, your mind can sit back and stop attacking itself. The disease is basically venting off steam from an engine running out of control, letting you cool off so you don't go into a state of complete psychosis.

So what is the solution? Self love. How? By accepting all of yourself. That will allow you to realize your inherent WHOLENESS. The belief that there is something wrong with you is OKAY to have. See it for what it is - a belief. It is not reality.

It's time we started accepting our limitations, meeting ourselves WHERE WE ARE right now at this very moment.

Story time.

I was playing basketball a few years ago, and I kept missing all my shots. I missed about 8/10 of my attempts. Every time I missed, I told myself, "Come on! You should be better than this! You were better when you were a kid! You need to be back at the level of skill you used to be!" The few times I would make a shot, you know what I would say to myself?

"FINALLY! Ugh."

I would berate myself some more! Instead of celebrating, I would give myself further punishment because I EXPECTED myself to be doing better - instead of being grateful I made the shot, I was frustrated.

I realized I was doing this (because at the time, I was healing and had a decent ability to observe my own thoughts) and stopped for a second. I stood still on the court and reviewed my actions, my feelings and my thoughts for the past hour.

I couldn't believe it! No wonder I wasn't making many shots! My body, my inner animal, was like a dog being kicked. No matter what the dog did, I kicked it, even if it did what I wanted it to do!

So, I made a resolution. For the rest of the practice session, every time I would make a shot, I would internally CELEBRATE!!!!! I would treat it as if I just successfully climbed Mt Everest, or landed a big bonus at work.

Guess what happened next?

You are correct. I started making WAYYYYY more of my basketball shots!

It really is that simple. How we talk to ourselves creates our reality. The only way we can make meaningful change in our lives is by admitting what we think, feel, and do at this very moment. It is an ADMITTING process, a SELF-CONFESSION. It's okay, whatever we feel. Let's examine our true motivations behind all our thoughts. Let's admit when we are being selfish, self-hating, greedy, insecure, ashamed or scared. By admitting it, we then allow ourselves to observe it IN ACTION, real-time.

This is what the great spiritual teachers mean by "Bringing it into the light." You observe it in the LIGHT of your awareness. Bring your darkness into the light. Observe it. Admit your darkness to yourself.

That is love.